If I Could Turn Back Time

I went ice skating over the weekend.

I really couldn’t say no, though I was quite nervous – scared really – that I would fall on my keister and embarrass myself. I even wore a bulky hat in the event I fell and hit my head. At this age, I don’t need a concussion.

You see, my son Geoff asked me to come along for my Grandson Lewis’ first skate. Lewis is two.

Miracle of miracles, I found that my fears were unfounded. After more than twenty years without donning the blades, I can still skate. Admittedly there were a couple of tense moments when I first walked on the ice, but then like magic, my memory took over. Shushing around the ice, forward, backward. I never fell once. I left with my dignity intact.

And what a joy it was to hold Lewis’ hand while he took his first tentative steps. A memory I will always cherish!

Maybe I am feeling my mortality at seventy years old.

In the immortal words of Shawshank Redemption’s Andy Dufresne: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” Though I don’t think anyone would accuse me of not living, I have determined that sitting on the sidelines is wasting valuable moments and subsequent memories.

No more “what if’s” for me!

I waterskied last summer for the first time in years, and have determined to do it again next year and the year after, for as long as I am able. Maybe I’ll even try slaloming again.

While not quite a polar bear dip, I jumped in the lake with my eldest son Trevor and his two boys in early May, despite the temp being about 59 degrees Fahrenheit. For those of you that measure in Celsius, that is 15 degrees. While some body parts were effected negatively, my heart survived, and the memories were timeless.

If I could turn back time, I would still measure everything in feet and inches, ounces, gallons, miles and yes Fahrenheit.

Grandchildren bring out the joy and inner child in you.

With daughter Lauren’s two year old son Ben (almost three he will tell you), we build snowmen, walk in each others footprints, jump in piles of leaves, chase each other around the house – and laugh and laugh and laugh. He is smarter than me, so I learn something each and every visit.

If I could turn back time, I would have been more patient and made more memories with my own kids. But then, when we are raising our own kids, we are also in the busiest and most pressure packed time of our lives. There is not much time to be perfect.

As grandparents, we have the luxury of correcting the faults of our earlier lives.

If I could turn back time, I would be perfect. The perfect dad, the perfect husband, the perfect coach, the perfect leader, the perfect friend, the perfect colleague.

But then, none of us are perfect are we?

Life gives us lots of room to self correct; to choose an alternate path; to learn from our mistakes; to celebrate our successes.

If I could turn back time, I would not have made any mistakes. Or maybe I would make more!

Truth is, if you don’t make any mistakes, what would we ever have to laugh at? How would we learn? What fun would that be?

If I could turn back time, I would laugh more, stress less and realize that “It is just life” happening before our very eyes.

I would have chosen the “shoulder shrug” more often, and simply dealt with the problem of the day, calmly and reasonably. I would have been less angry and more introspective. I would realize that anger, frustration and worry just delay the inevitable. The problem doesn’t go away based on your reaction.

If I could turn back time, I would have been more appreciative, more thoughtful, more compassionate, more complimentary. I would have said the kind things I was thinking, more openly and without fear of embarrassment. After all, people really can’t read your mind. I would be more intentional with my kind thoughts, and less intentional with my negativity.

If I could turn back time, I would have listened more and talked less.

If I could turn back time, I would have one more conversation with Rudy Gheysen, Bill Jeneraul, Mike Underhill, my sister Kim and everyone’s best friend, Mike D’Angelo – and countless others that have passed long before their time.

If I could turn back time, I would spend an afternoon with Bill Douglas, my wife Karen’s dad. I would tell him that she is an amazing woman, wife, mother and grandmother; kind, compassionate, thoughtful, giving and funny – though not as funny as she thinks she is. He did good!

If I could turn back time, I would not take life, relationships and lives for granted.

If I could turn back time, I would remind my parents how much I appreciate all they did for me, and perhaps, just maybe, ask for one last piece of advice.

Life is fleeting, and always full of surprises.

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.