The Catheter Conundrum

This is part PSA and part sharing of my latest battle with my prostate. My little walnut seems very needy of attention, ever since my original battle a few years ago – documented as many of you may have read in “The Prostate Prophesies”.

Not that I don’t appreciate the ladies reading my ramblings about body parts, but this takes a particular perspective from those of us that have a prostate. You know who you are.

Goodness knows, you ladies have enough of your own trials and tribulations!

But I digress.

Now to reiterate, and to lay aside any concerns. I do not have cancer. Men are prone to prostate cancer, the older we get. But it is not an affliction I have been burdened with as yet.

What I have been burdened with is a larger than normal prostate gland – by genetics, I would assume. Dad and I never shared stories about our little walnuts, so I don’t know for sure – maybe I was just lucky, or unlucky.

As I have recounted previously, this little nugget grows as you get older, presses against the urethra, and can limit the amount of urine released from your bladder. In effect causing you to pee more frequently.

It is not something you can use as a pickup line in a bar. “Hey baby, I have a huge prostate!” Nope – after an eye roll and perhaps a slap across the face, they will walk away every time – not that I would know.

Here Comes the PSA

Not to be confused with the Prostate Specific Antigen test – also PSA – Men will know this acronym. Strange coincidence don’t you think?

No, this is a Public Service Announcement, for those that have the honour of having a larger prostate.

Since my first near death experience – not with my prostate directly – but through Karen driving like a maniac to get me to the hospital – I have gone through a couple of procedures to help me navigate the downside of urinating frequently throughout the night.

A REZUM procedure was recommended by my urologist. This procedure involves shoving a hose about the size firemen use to put out a four alarm fire, up your penis and into the prostate – or at least it felt that way.

The procedure involves spraying steam into your little walnut and dissolving a crust of sorts, that builds up inside, thus expanding into the urethra. This procedure is not covered by OHIP, but is very effective – life changing for me in some ways. I mostly sleep through the night now. Sometimes I get up once, rarely twice anymore – and therefore more rested.

I was fitted with a catheter for about 10 days.

Now while wearing a catheter is definitely not fun, it does have it’s bonuses. Talking to the neighbour and just let ‘er rip. Pumping gas, you just get this eye glaze, completely satisfied smirk on your face, knowing you are peeing while everyone is just pumping gas. Multi tasking at its best. Doing dishes with Karen, and being able to casually say – “I’m peeing you know!”

The guidance, post procedure was that there may be a little clotting and blood for a couple months, as this causes some trauma to the prostate. This was absolutely correct. Except the bleeding never really completely stopped. It continued off and on for months. Though for the most part, life was normal. That was early November 2024.

The Africa Episode

Things came to a head in October while we were in Africa, when one morning I woke up to the bed being soaked in blood. I had no sensation, nothing. Just woke up to what looked like a murder scene.

I was so embarrassed and humiliated. So I blamed it on Karen. I assumed the staff would think it was a “woman problem”. But we did our best to eliminate the evidence as best we could. God bless Karen!

I emailed my urologist, told him what happened – followed by “this can’t be normal!!!” He agreed it was NOT.

He made an immediate appointment for when we got back home. Blood work taken. Blood work analyzed. The diagnosis was that my prostate was once again barking at me. It was time to refer me to yet another specialist.

Still no cancer detection – whew!

Man Vs Prostate

Enter Dr Derek Cool.

I was referred to Dr Cool at Victoria hospital, to see if I was a candidate for an “Embolization Prostatic Artery” procedure.

I met with Dr Cool on December 9th. He explained that I would qualify for the procedure. It entailed entering into an artery in my groin, sending a probe up through said artery to the prostate, at which point they would cauterize the artery feeding blood to the prostate. This procedure would eliminate the blood issue I was experiencing, and further shrink the prostate to half the size. BONUS!

After being assured there were not negative lasting side effects, I gave the ok to “Let’s git ‘er dun!”

The appointment was set for March 10 2026 at 7am, Victoria Hospital in London.

And the Wait Began

Karen and I had booked a trip to Vancouver to visit family for Feb 24th, returning on March 2. Lots of time before my procedure. But sometimes things go sideways when you least expect it.

In the meantime, blood became a daily issue. Lots of it. Every day. Every time I had to pee.

I came home on the 2nd as scheduled, but Karen was enjoying herself so much, she decided to stay another week – returning to London airport on March 9th at 7pm. Would be a short night but she would be home in time to take me to the hospital – and more importantly to drive me home.

Except Westjet had other plans. Her flight got delayed and now would not arrive in London until 6:30 am on the 10th. My appointment was at 7am.

Well family came through. I drove myself to the hospital, while Geoff picked Karen up at the airport and dropped her off, just in time for me to be admitted. She was exhausted, but such a trooper.

Next Stop Operating Theatre

Prepping took a while, as inserting my friend the catheter was a challenge for some reason. Pete Jeneraul, a man I worked with many years ago, would have said “it’s like pushing a rope up a wild cat’s ass.”

But again, once inserted, I could pee at will.

The procedure was expected to take 2 hours, but ran long. After nearly 4 hours, I was brought back to post-op, where I was told I had to stay for another 3 hours. Poor Karen.

So here I am, 3 days into having yet another catheter. Such a joy! I so hope it is worth the aggravation this time. I have had enough “man issues”.

I peed at the grocery store this morning – goodness it is so liberating!!